i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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