the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
