God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My day in three words: secret purse cake
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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