This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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