If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I love having hate sex.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
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