My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
