why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
