i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
