Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
