Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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