pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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