oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
