I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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