She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
