I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
