Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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