Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
