Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do you still have your period?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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