She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
