When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize