You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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