The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
