even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize