Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
