margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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