i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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