Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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