He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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