A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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