what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
