maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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