everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
