just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
