Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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