Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize