I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize