Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I wear drunk well.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
