i'm signing you up for texting rehab
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
