my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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