I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
