Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
