Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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