Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
if i died would you start the facebook group?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
