The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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