Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
