Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
