i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
