He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
