google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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