Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
