your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
