dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize