Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
