is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
