I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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