Whod you bang
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize