In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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