I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
