and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
