You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize