my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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