you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
