i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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