I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
