were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
my being single is dangerous.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
