He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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