Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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