My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
