I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
