You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
