I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Randomize
