she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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