I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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