slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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