He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
