She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
