Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
