Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
