Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
