He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize