dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
